XRds1Bnce16
01-20-2004, 05:12 AM
A while back when we were discussing the goriest films, I told you that the goriest film I had ever seen was Riki-Oh: Story of Riki. Well, a new king was crowned tonight and Riki-Oh had to step down. The movie: Dead Alive. You have not lived until you've seen this movie.
This may spoil some of the plot for you, but it may also get any enthusiast excited about seeing the film (the kind of film where the plot really doesn't matter).
The year is 1957. It all starts when two zoologists are over in Sumatra trying to transport a Sumatran Rat Monkey out of Sumatra. The natives don't want them to take it, but they do anyway. However, one of the zoologists gets bitten so, to protect himself and the others, the zoologist chops of his arms and head. Apparently getting bitten by the Rat Monkey is not good. The credits roll and we find ourselves in New Zealand. Here we meet Paquita, a New Zealand girl who is just looking for love. With the help of some very accurate tarot cards, she meets Lionel, a timid New Zealand man who lives with his mother high atop a hill where he waits on her hand and foot. One day, Lionel and Paquita slip away to the zoo while Lionel's mother isn't looking...or is she?
At the zoo, the two are having a great time until Lionel has a flashback about a hand in water. He goes on to explain to Paquita that his father died saving him when he was drowning (not a major plot point at this point). To cheer him up, Paquita suggests that they go look at the monkeys. You know where this is going.
We are first introduced to the Sumatran Rat Monkey when it punches a monkey in the neighboring cage to death, then rips its arm off and eats it. Lionel and Paquita, in shock, have a seat on a nearby bench...but someone is watching them. "It's my mother!" Lionel exclaims when he hears her screams coming from the Rat Monkey's cage. She slipped and fell on the cage and the Rat Monkey reached through the cage and bit her arm. They take her home and put her to bed. That night Lionel has some nightmares about drowning and his mother spews pus from her arm and the wound is apparently getting worse. The next morning (after a rather yucky encounter with Lionel's mother's associates involving pus and ears in custard and the subsequent putting of the custard in mouths) Paquita and her dog come to visit Lionel who is out cutting the lawn with his trusty lawn mower. The dog runs upstairs to bother Lionel's mother while Lionel and Paquita have a trivial converstaion. There is a sudden struggle heard coming from upstairs and the two rush upstairs thinking the dog had disturbed Lionel's mother...oh were they ever wrong.
"Lionel...your mother ate my dog!"
Lionel begins to fight with his mother (after pulling one of the dog's legs out of her mouth) and they roll down the stairs. Lionel orders Paquita to call the nurse and she does. When the nurse gets there, she declares Lionel's mother dead (at this time, Paquita is upstairs). But she's not dead...this becomes clear when she wakes up and rips the nurse's head almost off (it is left dangling providing for some comical moments). To make a long story short, Lionel is able to lock the two zombies in his basement and Paquita is none the wiser. Lionel gets some tranquilzers from a veteranarian and he gives them to the two zombies. He then goes off to Paquita's shop leaving the two zombie's inside. They break out, of course, and Lionel's mum follows them to the store. But just as she's about to get them, she's hit by a streetcar. There is a big fuss and she is declared dead...again.
At the funeral we meet Father McGruder and Paquita waiting for Lionel who decide to start the ceremony without him (he was late). To make another long story short, Lionel is attacked by his mother (who bursts out of her coffin) and they end up fighting each other on the ground in front of the entire church. Lionel makes a fool out of himself but is able to administer the tranquilzer and his mother is buried.
Later that night, Lionel is seen at the cemetary with a shovel with intents to dig up his mother. But just as he starts digging some thugs show up and stop him. One proceeds to urinate on his mother's grave which is a bad idea because she rises from her grave and takes out vengeance on his...yeah. A fight begins between Lionel and two more zombies (thanks to Lionel's mom) and all seems lost until Father McGruder shows up! This is one of my favorite parts as Father McGruder suddenly becomes a Kung-Fu Priest! He takes on all the zombies by himself, killing one (his mighty kicks remove its arms, legs, and head!) and is eventually impailed and killed on a headstone. So what's left for Lionel to do? Take all the zombies home, of course.
Some very funny scenes ensue as Lionel does his best to keep the zombies under control...he feeds them, lets them listen to the raido, etc. All is good until Lionel's Uncle arrives complaining about how he was left out of the will. When Lionel is finally able to drive him away, he returns to the kitchen to find Father McGruder getting it on with the nurse. He puts everyone downstairs where the nurse gives birth to a baby zombie. Lionel, being the caring, simple man that he is, takes the baby for a ride in the park in a barbed wire baby carriage. The baby gets out so Lionel beats it against a swing set, stuffs it in a bad, and runs off.
Lionel meets Paquita at her shop and reluctantly breaks up with her because he doesn't want her to get involved in his problem at home. So she goes off with the milkman. Lionel gets home to find his Uncle, who had found the zombies. However, all of them were sleeping so he merely thought them dead. He threatens to report Lionel to the police if he doesn't give him the will money and the house. Lionel does, and just when everything seems to have hit bottom, Lionel's Uncle bursts into the house with hundereds of party guests.
Outside, Paquita is walking by with her boyfriend and sees the party. Out of curiousity, she leaves the milkman and goes up to investigate. She and Lionel eventually meet up the basement and she becomes aware of everything. After a bit of a quarrel with the zombies (ending with one getting a rake in the head) they decide that they should end it by poisoning the zombies (with a handy bottle of poison from a nearby shelf). They administer the poison and bury all the zombies in the basement. They leave the basement and almost immediately get into a tustle with Lionel's Uncle. Lionel gets tossed into the basement and the door gets locked. It is at this time, Lionel reads the back of the poison bottle: "Animal stimulant. Do not give to humans." Now the crap hits the fan. All heck breaks loose as the four zombies turn everyone at the party into zombies except for Lionel, Paquita, and Lionel's Uncle who are all forced to fight off the zombies in a thirty minute battle, most likely the goriest ever depicted on film. And to end it off, Lionel burst through the door with his trusty lawn mower. Chaos ensues. When every last zombie has been chopped to bits (including Uncle Lionel), Lionel realizes that his mother is missing. She reappears as a monsterous zombie and chases them to the roof where Lionel learns that she killed his father, rather than his father's death being an accident. Lionel gets sucked into his mother's stomach and when you think the end is near, he slices through him with his sacred necklace (given to him by Paquita's mother) and kills the monster. The house burns down and Lionel and Paquita live happily ever after.
And by the way, this little gem is from our friend Peter Jackson. I must say, his work has really gone downhill...
To help me illustrate the insanity that this movie is, this site: http://www.houseofhorrors.com/deadalive.htm has some clips from the film (be warned, they are very gruesome). If you are a horror/b-movie fan, this is definately one for you. I will never be the same again after seeing it and niether will you. Wow, what a film.
This may spoil some of the plot for you, but it may also get any enthusiast excited about seeing the film (the kind of film where the plot really doesn't matter).
The year is 1957. It all starts when two zoologists are over in Sumatra trying to transport a Sumatran Rat Monkey out of Sumatra. The natives don't want them to take it, but they do anyway. However, one of the zoologists gets bitten so, to protect himself and the others, the zoologist chops of his arms and head. Apparently getting bitten by the Rat Monkey is not good. The credits roll and we find ourselves in New Zealand. Here we meet Paquita, a New Zealand girl who is just looking for love. With the help of some very accurate tarot cards, she meets Lionel, a timid New Zealand man who lives with his mother high atop a hill where he waits on her hand and foot. One day, Lionel and Paquita slip away to the zoo while Lionel's mother isn't looking...or is she?
At the zoo, the two are having a great time until Lionel has a flashback about a hand in water. He goes on to explain to Paquita that his father died saving him when he was drowning (not a major plot point at this point). To cheer him up, Paquita suggests that they go look at the monkeys. You know where this is going.
We are first introduced to the Sumatran Rat Monkey when it punches a monkey in the neighboring cage to death, then rips its arm off and eats it. Lionel and Paquita, in shock, have a seat on a nearby bench...but someone is watching them. "It's my mother!" Lionel exclaims when he hears her screams coming from the Rat Monkey's cage. She slipped and fell on the cage and the Rat Monkey reached through the cage and bit her arm. They take her home and put her to bed. That night Lionel has some nightmares about drowning and his mother spews pus from her arm and the wound is apparently getting worse. The next morning (after a rather yucky encounter with Lionel's mother's associates involving pus and ears in custard and the subsequent putting of the custard in mouths) Paquita and her dog come to visit Lionel who is out cutting the lawn with his trusty lawn mower. The dog runs upstairs to bother Lionel's mother while Lionel and Paquita have a trivial converstaion. There is a sudden struggle heard coming from upstairs and the two rush upstairs thinking the dog had disturbed Lionel's mother...oh were they ever wrong.
"Lionel...your mother ate my dog!"
Lionel begins to fight with his mother (after pulling one of the dog's legs out of her mouth) and they roll down the stairs. Lionel orders Paquita to call the nurse and she does. When the nurse gets there, she declares Lionel's mother dead (at this time, Paquita is upstairs). But she's not dead...this becomes clear when she wakes up and rips the nurse's head almost off (it is left dangling providing for some comical moments). To make a long story short, Lionel is able to lock the two zombies in his basement and Paquita is none the wiser. Lionel gets some tranquilzers from a veteranarian and he gives them to the two zombies. He then goes off to Paquita's shop leaving the two zombie's inside. They break out, of course, and Lionel's mum follows them to the store. But just as she's about to get them, she's hit by a streetcar. There is a big fuss and she is declared dead...again.
At the funeral we meet Father McGruder and Paquita waiting for Lionel who decide to start the ceremony without him (he was late). To make another long story short, Lionel is attacked by his mother (who bursts out of her coffin) and they end up fighting each other on the ground in front of the entire church. Lionel makes a fool out of himself but is able to administer the tranquilzer and his mother is buried.
Later that night, Lionel is seen at the cemetary with a shovel with intents to dig up his mother. But just as he starts digging some thugs show up and stop him. One proceeds to urinate on his mother's grave which is a bad idea because she rises from her grave and takes out vengeance on his...yeah. A fight begins between Lionel and two more zombies (thanks to Lionel's mom) and all seems lost until Father McGruder shows up! This is one of my favorite parts as Father McGruder suddenly becomes a Kung-Fu Priest! He takes on all the zombies by himself, killing one (his mighty kicks remove its arms, legs, and head!) and is eventually impailed and killed on a headstone. So what's left for Lionel to do? Take all the zombies home, of course.
Some very funny scenes ensue as Lionel does his best to keep the zombies under control...he feeds them, lets them listen to the raido, etc. All is good until Lionel's Uncle arrives complaining about how he was left out of the will. When Lionel is finally able to drive him away, he returns to the kitchen to find Father McGruder getting it on with the nurse. He puts everyone downstairs where the nurse gives birth to a baby zombie. Lionel, being the caring, simple man that he is, takes the baby for a ride in the park in a barbed wire baby carriage. The baby gets out so Lionel beats it against a swing set, stuffs it in a bad, and runs off.
Lionel meets Paquita at her shop and reluctantly breaks up with her because he doesn't want her to get involved in his problem at home. So she goes off with the milkman. Lionel gets home to find his Uncle, who had found the zombies. However, all of them were sleeping so he merely thought them dead. He threatens to report Lionel to the police if he doesn't give him the will money and the house. Lionel does, and just when everything seems to have hit bottom, Lionel's Uncle bursts into the house with hundereds of party guests.
Outside, Paquita is walking by with her boyfriend and sees the party. Out of curiousity, she leaves the milkman and goes up to investigate. She and Lionel eventually meet up the basement and she becomes aware of everything. After a bit of a quarrel with the zombies (ending with one getting a rake in the head) they decide that they should end it by poisoning the zombies (with a handy bottle of poison from a nearby shelf). They administer the poison and bury all the zombies in the basement. They leave the basement and almost immediately get into a tustle with Lionel's Uncle. Lionel gets tossed into the basement and the door gets locked. It is at this time, Lionel reads the back of the poison bottle: "Animal stimulant. Do not give to humans." Now the crap hits the fan. All heck breaks loose as the four zombies turn everyone at the party into zombies except for Lionel, Paquita, and Lionel's Uncle who are all forced to fight off the zombies in a thirty minute battle, most likely the goriest ever depicted on film. And to end it off, Lionel burst through the door with his trusty lawn mower. Chaos ensues. When every last zombie has been chopped to bits (including Uncle Lionel), Lionel realizes that his mother is missing. She reappears as a monsterous zombie and chases them to the roof where Lionel learns that she killed his father, rather than his father's death being an accident. Lionel gets sucked into his mother's stomach and when you think the end is near, he slices through him with his sacred necklace (given to him by Paquita's mother) and kills the monster. The house burns down and Lionel and Paquita live happily ever after.
And by the way, this little gem is from our friend Peter Jackson. I must say, his work has really gone downhill...
To help me illustrate the insanity that this movie is, this site: http://www.houseofhorrors.com/deadalive.htm has some clips from the film (be warned, they are very gruesome). If you are a horror/b-movie fan, this is definately one for you. I will never be the same again after seeing it and niether will you. Wow, what a film.